How to: Find inner-quality

hey stranger,
[entry #1 : 15/04/2017]

it’s me – one of your contributors to @thedaisymag – yep, I know what you’re thinking after reading the title: “another generic post about finding oneself”. But I promise you, I want to be writing this mini series to not just let you in on my self journey, but to perhaps trigger a start to yours or help you see things differently and come out after reading this, with a smile on your face and your heart feeling full of love.

I think there are so many beautiful things in life that we say and feel we notice, but don’t really; and it hasn’t been until I recently got out of a long-term relationship that I’ve truly come to see. So to kick off this mini-series, and I promise it won’t be such ‘heavy’/’deep’ content all the time – I’ve got lots in store for you beautiful creatures! But, here’s a small list of things that I think are purely beautiful – rawly beautiful.

1. The different and complex levels of friendships you have –
you know your friends are always there for you, you know you can lie there and be comfortable in that silence and you know that even if you don’t talk everyday, they’re still there because that’s what friendships are, right? we all know that – but take a step back, envision yourself taking a step back from your bodily figure and observe: they love you – for who you really are, the quirky habits you have and the iconic figures of speech you use on a daily basis. They support your interests and make you into the best version of you that you can be and at the end of the day, you consider them family. This bond you have with them is different to any other individual and that is something truly beautiful. 

2. The way your passions can grow into something people admire and appreciate –
growing up, I never ever wanted people to know that I adored reading and writing fiction and poetry – in fact, I was terrified of it and it wasn’t until uni that I feel I’ve truly flourished as a person who may not show that she loves the language and its functions, but I’m beginning to. I live my life through metaphors and the people who know me best have witnessed it. I picked up photography after watching my dad fulfil his hobby with his old film camera, forever being the embarrassing dad at my sports matches and equestrian competitions with his big, old, fat lens that would spook the horses – little did I know, it became a passion of mine for a few years until I was told to ‘drop’ it as there wasn’t a course available for me at school. It hasn’t been until recently I’ve picked it back up and felt the familiar thrill of capturing moments that can’t be replayed all the time in your mind.

3. Coming home –
ah, the saying “home sweet home” goes a long way, doesn’t it? After being in boarding school for 5 years, I really learnt how to appreciate what a ‘home’ feels like. Family comes first in everything really. And it hasn’t been until the age of 19, with a month left until I’m 20, that I’ve really discovered how loving family is. I had a period where things were complicated back home and the friends who were there for me at the time still stay so close to my heart. The things that make home ‘home’ are the familiar smells of my mum’s washing powder, the ever so distinct beat of my dad’s footsteps as he exits the lift to our floor and the fresh aroma of fruit that lingers in my kitchen. The humidity of Hong Kong is something I’ve actually learnt to miss – England’s cold nights have really got me lacking in vitamin D. 

4. Acceptance –
this is sort of a self-development part of growing up that I find beautiful. I have seen people I grew up with learn to accept who they are even if others don’t and the struggle they go through is inspiring. But the most beautiful thing is learning to accept yourself and your needs. Learning to prioritise your needs before anyone else’s because well, let’s face it, a lot of us prioritise others’ needs before our own. Acceptance is also letting things be, letting things play out naturally rather than trying to figure it out in your head beforehand – which is a common mistake we are all guilty of. Haven’t you ever played a scenario out in your head before it happens? And around 50% of the time, it doesn’t turn out the way it should? Yeah, I’m guilty of it. Learning, over time of course, to let things play out and not be in control 100% of the time is a beautiful thing – it shows our vulnerable side. And that, my friend, takes courage. We build walls up to protect ourselves, so we don’t get hurt, or maybe we’ve been hurt before and we can’t afford to feel that way again, it was too much last time – so this time, we’re going to mentally build a fence and do things like it’s playing chess – but it isn’t until we learn that things are going to be the way things are because we aren’t meant to be in control all the time. The beauty of acceptance in every aspect is that we are in control of our actions, so dream big baby, and let things play out how they are but remain in control.

the next time you’re on public transport, or stood against a wall waiting for a friend/family, glance around and smile to yourself – you are so beautiful that anyone who passes by you can’t help but feel a sense of warmth and love towards you. Ditch those who are unsupportive of your hobbies and interests, amongst your large group of acquaintances are those who have loved you since day one, and will continue to do so until you feel you’ve reached an achievement in your life.

perhaps the next post won’t be something so ‘deep’, am thinking of doing a post about my tattoos, style blog, love for vintage cars or Hong Kong which I’m currently in for Easter break. But for now, see you later beautiful

Edith x

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